Alone in The Crowd

When the sky darkens and the rain starts to fall, I feel that my whole world is falling apart. Washed away with the rain. Being alone is often nice and serene; but feeling lonely is a different thing. I feel all alone in a crowd. I feel so self-centered and somehow it seems like all eyes are on me and people are staring at me with pity. When others are coupled or grouped, there I was, walking by myself in the drizzling rain. Looking in envy at couples that running away from the rain together. Feeling jealous at the women who got their men busy covering them from getting wet. How beautiful life is for them. Having their loved one walking side by side, laughing in the rain together.

How I wish for him to be with me.... This loneliness is killing me. I miss him so much, it hurts... I don't want anything else, I just want to come home to his arms and never be lonely anymore...

Walking up the hill tonight when you have closed your eyes

Wish I didn’t have to make all those mistakes and be wise

Please, try to be patient, you know that I’m still learning

I’m sorry that you have to see the strength inside me burning

Where are you my angel now, don’t you see me crying

I know that you can’t do it all, but you can’t say I’m not trying

I’m on my knees in front of him, but he doesn’t seem to see me

With all his troubles on his mind, he’s looking right through me

And I’m letting myself down, wish I knew

And I wish that you could see, I have my troubles too

(parts of The Hill - Marketa Irglova OST Once)

For my beloved fiance, Chris... I miss you so much it hurts!