Becoming a Pearman...
I believe all girls in the world has their fantasy about wedding. Mine was always that Cinderella kind of fairy tale wedding. Big white dress, tiara, bouquet of white roses and a Prince Charming. I never wanted a big wedding. I've always wanted it to be relatively small (I said relatively because I have many good friends that I wanted to invite anyway) and intimate wedding. Where everyone can chat and having a good time. Sharing stories and taking photos together; not just come, shake our hands, eat and then leave.
When I came to England in December, my intention was to spend a few months with my fiance and his family. Spending Christmas, New Year, my birthday, his birthday, Valentine's Day together because we haven't seen each other in 2 years. Getting married was not in my agenda. Chris and I got different information about getting married in the UK. I was told that I could do it with tourist visa while he was told that I have to have a fiance visa to get married here. So, we did not pursue it from the beginning. But then I made this trip to London for my treatment and got hold of a local NGO that works on legal assistance for immigrants; and they told me that I actually could get married here using tourist visa as long as I go back when the visa is expired. Knowing this, we decided to get married while I am here.
It was not an easy process and not without a glitch, especially when we decided to have the ceremony on 15th of March, which gave us exactly 3 weeks to prepare. Preparing the wedding is not the main focus of stress here. The paper works are. First, I have to have my legal documents sent from Jakarta immediately. Second, it has to be translated by a sworn translator. Third, the marriage license will take 16 working days to get approval from General Registry Office and if after 16 working days they still need to find out more, an extra of 20 days will be added for the processing. Obviously, the clock is ticking frantically from my end while all the preparation goes on as schedule.
Some people doubted that we can pull together everything in 3 weeks. Doubts and hesitations; someone was even almost convinced that the wedding will be a train wreck. But Heather and I are determined to prove to everyone that we can have a wonderful wedding in 3 weeks. We are not going to let this wedding a train wreck!
On a stressful note, in between the preparation, I had to go to Brighton for 5 days to attend a training. Obviously, this is not ideal but this training was in my initial agenda and there's no turning back. So, I had to leave all the preparations on Chris' & Heather's hands. They've done beautifully! We've managed to book a place in Pidley Golf Course on the date that we wanted and turned out the room size is perfect and the landscape is amazing!
I was so happy because Helen comes back from Leeds and Sandra flew from Germany to help out. The whole family is here and everyone seemed to be excited. We made a trip to Pidley on Friday afternoon to decorate the reception hall when Huntingdon Registry Office called and let us know that the wedding has been authorized by the General Registry Office; and that we can get married on Saturday! I must say, waiting for that authorization was the most excruciating period I've ever had in my life. And to get it a day before the wedding was unthinkable!
The Invitation
In Indonesia people spend so much money on wedding invitation. But, here you can get a ready-made invitation (and they are already in a really nice design too!) and write them yourself. Since we are not having hundreds of people coming, it won't be a problem to have it hand-written.
The Venue
Spring is coming, so people are starting to plan for wedding. Places are booked and it was frustrating to find a nice and affordable reception venue. We will have 60 guests at most, so we don't want big hall that will feel empty. It was very stressful! Ideally, I wanted to have it in a hotel because we don't need to worry too much about decoration, food & drinks. We were talking about having the reception in one of the village halls as contingency plan. But that would create so much hassle because it needs more decoration and we will need a caterer. The very last resource is to have it at home, but then that is not ideal because the weather is still too cold and windy to have a garden party (and we certainly can't cater 50 to 60 people inside the house!). And then Heather said that one of her friends mentioned Pidley Lakeside Lodge Golf Course. When I heard about it, I got a good feeling. Golf courses will have nice landscape and well-manicured grass, which will be perfect as a backdrop for photographs. Not just that, Clive used to go to this golf course on the weekend and said the food was great. So, this is it! When I found out that they have the reception hall vacant for the date we want, I just want to do it there.
The Dress
Heather and Valerie went for dress shopping with me one day. And I never thought it was going to be that difficult to find a wedding dress. It's either they don't have my size or they don't have the style that suits me. After a while, I insisted to the BHS shop assistant to try on a dress that they have on the mannequin. It fits me perfectly! And it looked fantastic!!! But.... I can't buy it because it has been on the display. I could buy it online but if I am not satisfied, I wouldn't be able to return it. So.... forget it. As the day nearing the end, we drove to Bedford to have a visit to this last bridal shop there. It was a small shop but definitely has been around for so long. The lady assisted me in finding the right one. She was asking me about my budget and what sort of dress I wanted. And she said, "It's the dress that finds you, not the other way around. We believe the right dress speaks to you..." So, she asked me to wait while she went looking for the first one. I tried it on and not very impressed. So, she went again and came back with one which I thought, "I wouldn't even want to try it on!" at the same time, Valerie and Heather also had the same thought, "Oooooh she wouldn't like it!" - the lady told me that I can't make any decision without even trying it out. The dress usually looks different after it has been put on. So I was thinking, I'd try it on out of politeness since she went through so much trouble and that shop does have over 600 dresses! And yes.... I couldn't believe that it looks sooooo good on me! That was my dream dress! The kind of dress I've always wanted to wear ever since I was a little girl! A Princessy kind of dress. So, of course I took it!
The Wedding Cake
It is crazy how expensive a wedding cake prize is! I thought, we don't want to spend that much money on a bloody cake! But Heather is a good cook and baker. She baked my birthday cake and did it for other friends too! And everyone loved her cake! So, I asked her to make the wedding cake and she agreed! Yup! Who needs to order a wedding cake from a bakery if your soon-to-be-mother-in-law is a good cook? The cake was amazing.... (as always....)
The Center Piece
Rather than having a normal flower arrangement for the center piece, I thought it would be more interesting to have a sweets bouquet on every table. Maxine, Heather's friend, made us a really nice sweets bouquet for Christmas and I was amazed by it! Heather agreed to the idea and even better, Maxine agreed to do it! So, we ended up having these lovely sweets bouquet on every table and not just that, Maxine managed to put on a sticker with my name and Chris' and the date too! How lovely!
The Flower Arrangements
You have no idea how expensive flower arrangements for wedding are! After doing a little bit of market research, we failed to find cheaper price. Everywhere is the same! Lucky for us, Ffanny, Heather's friend loves to do flower arrangement! So, we decided that she could do the one for the top table and we order the bouquets and button-hole to the florist. On Friday afternoon, Ffanny turned up in Pidley with 5 flower arrangements! One for the top table, two for the high window sills, one for the gift table and one for the lower window sill. And they all look beautiful!
The Theme
Every wedding has colour theme and mine was white & burgundy. But as any other things, suddenly it is difficult to find burgundy-ish stuff (really don't know why). Helen's dress for instance, was a drama because it took her so long to find the one she liked in burgundy (mind you, not her fault!), and then we found out that on Wednesday, the dress she ordered has just been made and shipped (probably from China!). So, we had to go for another round of shopping to find her a dress. I was not convinced that burgundy decorations will go along well with dark green chairs! But I suppose burgundy flowers will have green leaves anyway. Ha! We had difficulties finding burgundy balloons too (we got some eventually! Yaayy!). On the positive notes, Sandra brought us a present from Germany which has a touch of burgundy even before she knew it was the theme colour! And Sandra has already got a burgundy dress which saves a lot of hassles for shopping. At the end of the day, everything is all sorted and we're happy with the result for decoration.
The Seating Arrangement
I've read many times in many magazines and tabloids that seating arrangement is one of the most stressful things to do in planning a wedding. And since we always have standing party in Indonesia, it never occurred to me how stressful it would be. We have to carefully remember the line of works, interest, like & dislike, social skills, personalities and many other factors before putting people next to one another. We want to make sure that everyone will have a pleasant mingling time and create interesting conversation to avoid boredom. We finally came up with the most perfect seating arrangement ever!
At the end of the day we're all happy and had a great day. It was the most beautiful day in my life. Everything comes on together timely, we had a nice, clear and sunny day; the food was great; the crowd was fantastic and I can turn around to my husband and say, "I told you we're gonna have a nice wedding!" - who says we cannot plan and prepare a wedding in 3 weeks?
A family is a fortress. It protects its members and keep them safe from harm. Some are thick and tall like the great wall of China, they stick together and make sure that everyone is safe and comfortable. Some are ruins... where everything has fallen apart and everyone has gone separate ways but occasionally will come back. The Pearmans are different... it is a thick and tall fortress, but with many doors and windows. They welcome people in and gladly keep them safe and comfortable.... And I'm honored to carry their last name as mine now and became a Pearman...
I believe all girls in the world has their fantasy about wedding. Mine was always that Cinderella kind of fairy tale wedding. Big white dress, tiara, bouquet of white roses and a Prince Charming. I never wanted a big wedding. I've always wanted it to be relatively small (I said relatively because I have many good friends that I wanted to invite anyway) and intimate wedding. Where everyone can chat and having a good time. Sharing stories and taking photos together; not just come, shake our hands, eat and then leave.
When I came to England in December, my intention was to spend a few months with my fiance and his family. Spending Christmas, New Year, my birthday, his birthday, Valentine's Day together because we haven't seen each other in 2 years. Getting married was not in my agenda. Chris and I got different information about getting married in the UK. I was told that I could do it with tourist visa while he was told that I have to have a fiance visa to get married here. So, we did not pursue it from the beginning. But then I made this trip to London for my treatment and got hold of a local NGO that works on legal assistance for immigrants; and they told me that I actually could get married here using tourist visa as long as I go back when the visa is expired. Knowing this, we decided to get married while I am here.
It was not an easy process and not without a glitch, especially when we decided to have the ceremony on 15th of March, which gave us exactly 3 weeks to prepare. Preparing the wedding is not the main focus of stress here. The paper works are. First, I have to have my legal documents sent from Jakarta immediately. Second, it has to be translated by a sworn translator. Third, the marriage license will take 16 working days to get approval from General Registry Office and if after 16 working days they still need to find out more, an extra of 20 days will be added for the processing. Obviously, the clock is ticking frantically from my end while all the preparation goes on as schedule.
Some people doubted that we can pull together everything in 3 weeks. Doubts and hesitations; someone was even almost convinced that the wedding will be a train wreck. But Heather and I are determined to prove to everyone that we can have a wonderful wedding in 3 weeks. We are not going to let this wedding a train wreck!
On a stressful note, in between the preparation, I had to go to Brighton for 5 days to attend a training. Obviously, this is not ideal but this training was in my initial agenda and there's no turning back. So, I had to leave all the preparations on Chris' & Heather's hands. They've done beautifully! We've managed to book a place in Pidley Golf Course on the date that we wanted and turned out the room size is perfect and the landscape is amazing!
I was so happy because Helen comes back from Leeds and Sandra flew from Germany to help out. The whole family is here and everyone seemed to be excited. We made a trip to Pidley on Friday afternoon to decorate the reception hall when Huntingdon Registry Office called and let us know that the wedding has been authorized by the General Registry Office; and that we can get married on Saturday! I must say, waiting for that authorization was the most excruciating period I've ever had in my life. And to get it a day before the wedding was unthinkable!
The Invitation
In Indonesia people spend so much money on wedding invitation. But, here you can get a ready-made invitation (and they are already in a really nice design too!) and write them yourself. Since we are not having hundreds of people coming, it won't be a problem to have it hand-written.
The Venue
Spring is coming, so people are starting to plan for wedding. Places are booked and it was frustrating to find a nice and affordable reception venue. We will have 60 guests at most, so we don't want big hall that will feel empty. It was very stressful! Ideally, I wanted to have it in a hotel because we don't need to worry too much about decoration, food & drinks. We were talking about having the reception in one of the village halls as contingency plan. But that would create so much hassle because it needs more decoration and we will need a caterer. The very last resource is to have it at home, but then that is not ideal because the weather is still too cold and windy to have a garden party (and we certainly can't cater 50 to 60 people inside the house!). And then Heather said that one of her friends mentioned Pidley Lakeside Lodge Golf Course. When I heard about it, I got a good feeling. Golf courses will have nice landscape and well-manicured grass, which will be perfect as a backdrop for photographs. Not just that, Clive used to go to this golf course on the weekend and said the food was great. So, this is it! When I found out that they have the reception hall vacant for the date we want, I just want to do it there.
The Dress
Heather and Valerie went for dress shopping with me one day. And I never thought it was going to be that difficult to find a wedding dress. It's either they don't have my size or they don't have the style that suits me. After a while, I insisted to the BHS shop assistant to try on a dress that they have on the mannequin. It fits me perfectly! And it looked fantastic!!! But.... I can't buy it because it has been on the display. I could buy it online but if I am not satisfied, I wouldn't be able to return it. So.... forget it. As the day nearing the end, we drove to Bedford to have a visit to this last bridal shop there. It was a small shop but definitely has been around for so long. The lady assisted me in finding the right one. She was asking me about my budget and what sort of dress I wanted. And she said, "It's the dress that finds you, not the other way around. We believe the right dress speaks to you..." So, she asked me to wait while she went looking for the first one. I tried it on and not very impressed. So, she went again and came back with one which I thought, "I wouldn't even want to try it on!" at the same time, Valerie and Heather also had the same thought, "Oooooh she wouldn't like it!" - the lady told me that I can't make any decision without even trying it out. The dress usually looks different after it has been put on. So I was thinking, I'd try it on out of politeness since she went through so much trouble and that shop does have over 600 dresses! And yes.... I couldn't believe that it looks sooooo good on me! That was my dream dress! The kind of dress I've always wanted to wear ever since I was a little girl! A Princessy kind of dress. So, of course I took it!
The Wedding Cake
It is crazy how expensive a wedding cake prize is! I thought, we don't want to spend that much money on a bloody cake! But Heather is a good cook and baker. She baked my birthday cake and did it for other friends too! And everyone loved her cake! So, I asked her to make the wedding cake and she agreed! Yup! Who needs to order a wedding cake from a bakery if your soon-to-be-mother-in-law is a good cook? The cake was amazing.... (as always....)
The Center Piece
Rather than having a normal flower arrangement for the center piece, I thought it would be more interesting to have a sweets bouquet on every table. Maxine, Heather's friend, made us a really nice sweets bouquet for Christmas and I was amazed by it! Heather agreed to the idea and even better, Maxine agreed to do it! So, we ended up having these lovely sweets bouquet on every table and not just that, Maxine managed to put on a sticker with my name and Chris' and the date too! How lovely!
The Flower Arrangements
You have no idea how expensive flower arrangements for wedding are! After doing a little bit of market research, we failed to find cheaper price. Everywhere is the same! Lucky for us, Ffanny, Heather's friend loves to do flower arrangement! So, we decided that she could do the one for the top table and we order the bouquets and button-hole to the florist. On Friday afternoon, Ffanny turned up in Pidley with 5 flower arrangements! One for the top table, two for the high window sills, one for the gift table and one for the lower window sill. And they all look beautiful!
The Theme
Every wedding has colour theme and mine was white & burgundy. But as any other things, suddenly it is difficult to find burgundy-ish stuff (really don't know why). Helen's dress for instance, was a drama because it took her so long to find the one she liked in burgundy (mind you, not her fault!), and then we found out that on Wednesday, the dress she ordered has just been made and shipped (probably from China!). So, we had to go for another round of shopping to find her a dress. I was not convinced that burgundy decorations will go along well with dark green chairs! But I suppose burgundy flowers will have green leaves anyway. Ha! We had difficulties finding burgundy balloons too (we got some eventually! Yaayy!). On the positive notes, Sandra brought us a present from Germany which has a touch of burgundy even before she knew it was the theme colour! And Sandra has already got a burgundy dress which saves a lot of hassles for shopping. At the end of the day, everything is all sorted and we're happy with the result for decoration.
The Seating Arrangement
I've read many times in many magazines and tabloids that seating arrangement is one of the most stressful things to do in planning a wedding. And since we always have standing party in Indonesia, it never occurred to me how stressful it would be. We have to carefully remember the line of works, interest, like & dislike, social skills, personalities and many other factors before putting people next to one another. We want to make sure that everyone will have a pleasant mingling time and create interesting conversation to avoid boredom. We finally came up with the most perfect seating arrangement ever!
At the end of the day we're all happy and had a great day. It was the most beautiful day in my life. Everything comes on together timely, we had a nice, clear and sunny day; the food was great; the crowd was fantastic and I can turn around to my husband and say, "I told you we're gonna have a nice wedding!" - who says we cannot plan and prepare a wedding in 3 weeks?
A family is a fortress. It protects its members and keep them safe from harm. Some are thick and tall like the great wall of China, they stick together and make sure that everyone is safe and comfortable. Some are ruins... where everything has fallen apart and everyone has gone separate ways but occasionally will come back. The Pearmans are different... it is a thick and tall fortress, but with many doors and windows. They welcome people in and gladly keep them safe and comfortable.... And I'm honored to carry their last name as mine now and became a Pearman...
Saya cinta kamu sayang, you're truly amazing at so many things! x Signed A Proud Husband :) x
ReplyDeleteThis is not a blog post, this is a movie. BIG Congrats, Suksma.
ReplyDeleteTo get wedding authorization a day before the wedding was unthinkable!
Fantastic :) :)
https://soundcloud.com/imeuffels/pharrell-williams-happy